How to Network During the Apocalypse

[Image description: A street sign is almost underwater. Stay strong street sign. We’ll get through this together. Photo by Kelly Sikkema on Unsplash.]

Introduction 

Yes, everything is a giant dumpster fire right now, and some days you can’t imagine “networking.” But some days are a giant dumpster fire of possibility and you might find yourself longing to connect with new people. Whether it’s because you got a rare good night’s sleep, are fired up about Black Lives Matter, or you’re a heart-centered entrepreneur like us and you’re seeing a host of new ways you can be of service to your community. You might, despite everything, want to network and connect with new collaborators, customers, and colleagues in the midst of this global pandemic + social uprising. 

Here’s my advice on how to do that. 

#1 Be gracious about everything 

Be gracious about people being late to meetings, not replying to emails, getting interrupted by animals or children, the pile of dirty dishes on the desk next to them, tech difficulties, and spontaneous emotions coming out in weird ways. Be extra gracious with yourself too. The people you want to connect with are practicing their grace and patience now as well, and this kind of humanity is what we need more of right now. 

#2 Embolden your boundaries 

Be gracious, but don’t put up with BS. Now is the time to remove yourself from unhealthy dynamics, fire toxic clients, and say no to, or just flat out ignore pushy tone deaf requests for your time and effort. This is your permission slip for radical, messy authenticity. Give up being nice for being loving. Fiercely protect your precious energy. Connect with people who make you feel alive, who pique your creativity, who inspire you. Don’t, under any circumstances, try to network out of obligation or pressure. If there was ever a time where you can beg off from “having your brain picked,” “just catching up,” or any other euphemism for free emotional and mental labor that you do not have to give - a pandemic and social uprising against tyranny is the time. 

#3 Zoom in, way in 

[Image description: At the top is the caption “Dunbar’s Numbers.” Below are 5 concentric circles and next to each a description of the size of community each represents. 5 People - your BFF’s & family. 15 people - your core community. 50 people - your active friend group. 150 people - your friendly acquaintances. 1500 people - your village.]

Now is the time to focus on your core communities, personally and professionally. While I generally recommend networking with folks you don’t know (and that’s okay too), now is the time it is MOST important to connect with loved ones and close friends on the regular. Go deep. Be messy. Text on the toilet. Facetime while you’re folding laundry... or crying on a pile of laundry. Call your friends without scheduling it first. Leave sappy, dopey voicemails. Send love notes to your customers with no agenda. Gather your core people to you and squeeze them tight (literally or virtually). Make sure your core community is nurtured and you are being nurtured by your core community before you carve out space for strangers. Right now, more than any other, your core 5-12 people should be the priority for your time, energy, and attention. Everyone else can find their ways into the extra spaces. 

#4 Share joys

Use your calls with dear friends and new acquaintances as a way to reconnect to what lights you up - whether it’s a cute animal video, your re-reading of a childhood favorite book, the bees pollinating your garden, or a new client whose project is fun to work on. It’s easy to talk all about what’s wrong, but if you can authentically connect around things you love and value, networking can actually be sustainable for your body, mind, and heart.

#5 Allow space for grief

While focusing on joy in your calls, we recommend also doing your best not invalidate the hard feelings we’re all swimming in. Acknowledging that we are eating a poop sandwich while sitting inside a dumpster fire can actually allow for a more authentic connection. Breathe, thank people for sharing, thank yourself for sharing. We can use “networking” to practice witnessing each other with love. Juggling joy and fear and grief and exhaustion and hope and hopelessness while also trying to professionally connect with someone perfectly is a pretty hefty task. So laugh about it, allow for awkward transitions, name the ridiculousness of what’s happening, and keep talking. 

#6 Allow for your different experiences 

You might be feeling like everything’s gone belly up, while another person might be having an amazing day - or visa versa. This one is especially tricky because of the cognitive dissonance you might experience, but as long as it’s not causing you harm to talk to someone in a wildly different place than you, this can be a good thing! Part of how we do this terrible group project of surviving the apocalypse together is by connecting with people who are having different experiences and feelings than us. That being said, another key part of surviving is finding our like minded folks - so don’t pressure yourself to spend a lot of time connecting with someone who’s in a state of such denial or privilege that it makes your eye twitch and your ears bleed. See #2 above. 

#7 Let calls be short (or run long)

If a networking call is just not working for you, feel free to say that something’s come up and you need to go. In fact, practice your excuses beforehand, or even write them on a sticky note to read if it’s a new person you’re connecting with, or you know it’s hard for you to end things when you are done. Likewise, if you are vibing really hard with someone and the conversation is nurturing you, let it run long if that works for your calendar. Prioritize your own aliveness over sticking to schedules. 

#8 Practice asynchronous networking 

Not all networking has to be phone and video calls. You can like people’s social media posts, send them an email or message of support and admiration, retweet them, sign up for their newsletter, etc. Relationships are built through small repeated interactions. If you’re just not in a place to have a lot of in person conversations for whatever reason (mental exhaustion, noisy children, etc.) then set aside some time to do small relationship building actions. These will help you keep in contact with people you already know, and can lead up to bigger conversations with folks you don’t know in the future. For more great tips on this, check out our workshop with Pam Slim on Tiny Marketing Actions (after all, marketing done from a heart-centered place is all about building relationships!).

#9 Take a break when you need to

It’s okay to take a break from networking right now. I spent the first three months of the pandemic only talking to a handful of my closest friends. If you’re feeling any pressure to hustle, take a nap instead. Grind culture never worked for us, but it’s especially toxic now when we all have so much more on our plate. It’s not worth connecting with folks who don’t get that. 

#10 Meet in person if / when you can 

While we are still in summer in North America, it’s a great time to make the extra effort to meet outside, in person with people when possible. Wear masks and stay 6-10 feet apart and practice all your other personal safety practices. It’s a lot of extra work, but it’s a world of difference to meet and share the same space physically. It allows us to inhabit our whole bodies and not just the part of us that shows up on a zoom screen. It allows our nervous systems to co-regulate. It reminds us of our shared world and reality. It helps us fight Zoom fatigue. Plus the extra effort makes it much more special and can help cement the connection and relationship with the people you can spend IRL time with. 

Conclusion 

While the phrase “networking” sometimes has a harsh connotation, when we are grounded in our heart-centeredness (that’s a technical term), building bridges to support all our of livelihoods is a sacred and important task. While no advice will fit for every person, in every situation, we hope this blog gives you some space to find your own way forward. The standard rules of business is something our community has been suspect of for a long time. The biggest advantage for business owners during an unprecedented time is the permission to through out the rule book and get super creative. Have you found anything else that’s helped you to build connections in the last few months? We’re carving a new path forward, too, and we’d love to know what’s been working for you. Drop us a line or share in our Facebook Group to spread your wisdom to our whole community. 

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